Brushless showers and the Brazilian wax
Cash in the glove department, freeze from tax
Low mileage, on the odometer
A graduate, with more degrees than a thermometer
Spark plugs for great conversation
She would Focus on the finish line and destination
Steering in the right direction, made sure
I wore a seatbelt, and had airbags for protection
In her tank, she love to stash my tool
I kept it full, super unloaded fuel
She had a room full of skirts and rims
The old ones, used to swing off ropes, that often hung from limbs
A temp at the Ford Modeling Agency
Suburban area, where the Caucasians be
Her great grandfather was a Cherokee Indian
Exploring Navigator, traveling then begin
Sharpening his arrows on Plymouth Rock, commanding chief
Who weighs cattle, only selling the livestock
King of the Frontier, rider of thoroughbreds
He was just as sharp as a needle without thread
Legend in truth, but known to run the herds
His sons were Oldsmobiles who drink Thunderbird
Land Cruisers sitting on fertile soil
With equipment that ran off expensive oil
Folks bragging, said a horse pulled the Volkswagen
They love Mustang Sally and lolly gagging
Fished in Lake Tahoe, cooking Barracuda's
Hundred Impala's with the six shooters
From a long range with the dog Rover
It was something else to see him out and over
Some got caught in the Crossfire, a bunch of rabbits
Indicating these dudes should retire
One was oddball, rocking a sunroof
A gas guzzler, in his grill was one tooth
A strong Accent and a beard like Lincoln
Who hated the Golf course, but he love drinking
Avenger, used to pick up chicks
He had Magnums, that was laying tough but thick
Wore a Blazer, and where he used to hide the ruger
For encounters with the Jaguars and Cougars
A veteran move and salute, sing the anthem
In Accord with the plan, he was a Phantom
He had a fat lady, they called Hummer
And um, she needed bodywork for the whole summer
She had a few friends, who used to stay in the pound
Abandoned parking lots and junkyard down
Regulars in rest areas and truck stops
Cassette player, known to make the tape pop
Gold diggers, who wanted cream like well's Fargo
In Vegas, they circle around a Montecarlo
You know the snakes with the fangs of Vipers
Bloodsuckers, who will use the piss from hiking
Met the Cavaliers at the Outback Steakhouse
Chicken cutlet supreme, just for takeout
One of them was forced to live in Astoria
Cuz at the auction they had Crown Victoria
Since then, her friends charged with battery
Had her running off the sweets flattery
She kept a loud muffler, couldn't trust her
Police used to always pull over his duster
A pothead, who some called the Firebird
A foul mouth who could of used wiser words
Her man used to hustle and ran the crack corner
So insecure, he kept Low Jack on her
Peeping with his visors low, high beaming
Temper would accelerate, private eyes scheming
He would check his console for rubber
She would pass the inspection with flying colors
She would turn left, if he said right
On a cycle, he would often run a red light
His voice Echoed if she Dodged a Convoy
A previous owner, all he did was bone her
Some drove her crazy, she was just a loner
He had a leaking transmission fluid
Said it was an accident, didn't mean to do it
No insurance, but a grill to cage
She sobbed uncontrollably and still stayed
Another total Eclipse for the heart
Like the freezing weather that never gave her a start
Plus, he had a Sidekick in his garage
And if he needed a Boost, she would give him a charge
He was sentence for running an Escort service
Escaped from prison but made a few nervous
His baby mother and wife, the BMW
Number one on her list, who he brought trouble to
She done everything to regain her Liberty
Tried to be Audi, but went into delivery
Moved to Aspen, survived the Avalanche
A different Element, inside a cattle ranch
Far away when she changed the pattern
The distance was light from Mercury to Saturn